I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Randomize
