Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
