walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
