I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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