Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he thought i was a dude.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
