Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
