I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
