just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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