You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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