Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he was CRYING into my vagina
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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