Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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