Just mADE A PArabola og urine
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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