My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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