I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
