I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
