respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
