sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
