she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
