Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
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He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I have feelings that need drinking.
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Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.