Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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