Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...