their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
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After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
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Then again, he has huge mansions.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.