is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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