Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything

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  (734): I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything http://tfl.nu/dkqa
  Replies (16) Good night (449) Bad night (3111)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.

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  (416): girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently. http://tfl.nu/g9ad
  Replies (23) Good night (1522) Bad night (3933)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever

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  (540): just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever http://tfl.nu/k011
  Replies (34) Good night (7580) Bad night (917)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.

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  (724): She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring. http://tfl.nu/wizw
  Replies (24) Good night (8683) Bad night (1466)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.

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  (303): those 9 inches of man changed my life forever. http://tfl.nu/b7ob
  Replies (18) Good night (7721) Bad night (851)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night

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  (724): I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night http://tfl.nu/leh0
  Replies (6) Good night (4695) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.

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  (850): We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun. http://tfl.nu/0mma
  Replies (10) Good night (3767) Bad night (960)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree

  (404): View more from Georgia

  YES.

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  (678): NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree (404): YES. http://tfl.nu/chua
  Replies (5) Good night (3652) Bad night (810)
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  (679): View more from Michigan

  You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.

  (679): View more from Michigan

  You really are best friends.

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  (679): You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road. (679): You really are best friends. http://tfl.nu/zi1s
  Replies (20) Good night (6500) Bad night (1122)
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  (845): View more from New York

  you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage

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  (845): you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage http://tfl.nu/ot1n
  Replies (4) Good night (4146) Bad night (801)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am

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  (774): My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am http://tfl.nu/yrwz
  Replies (8) Good night (938) Bad night (1599)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.

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  (303): Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night. http://tfl.nu/mrb2
  Replies (5) Good night (1566) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.

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  (908): After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher. http://tfl.nu/fy1c
  Replies (6) Good night (479) Bad night (1720)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.

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  (214): Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask. http://tfl.nu/3wq6
  Replies (7) Good night (1463) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.

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  (603): I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there. http://tfl.nu/rrty
  Replies (1) Good night (966) Bad night (275)

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