this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
