all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
birth control should be required to get into college
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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