I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
