Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
