dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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