Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
