a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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