this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
soo... how was my night?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
