I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
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I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
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I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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