someone get that fucking seahorse.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
