no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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