yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
