how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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