spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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