my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Everything about him screamed your future.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
