Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
