Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
