i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
