I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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