Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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