There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
