The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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