i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
