No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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