wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
