I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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