"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
