they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
