I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
