I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
