I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
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literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
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So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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