This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
