Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
