Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
