no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
