Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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