Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
