Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
