Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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