fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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