my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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