I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
