Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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