you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
