I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
